Beatri Nunez Cabeza de Vaca A Journal from Spain

April 17 the year of our Lord 1545


My name is Beatri Nunez Cabeza de Vaca and I must write this in haste before I board the ship tonight. It stands waiting in the harbor. I am to meet Eutropio Ponce de Leon near the dock at midnight and dress as a boy. Together we will work our way on the exploration ship Santa Maria de Belen. No one must discover I am a girl, or I will be returned to my father who has betrothed me to his cousin Don Pedro Fernandez Cabeza de Vaca. His first wife, Violenta de Tebes died last year, leaving him with several children, and he only wants to take a new wife to have a housekeeper and child tender. Eutropio and I planned to be married, but he has not earned enough money to pay a dowrey, and as third son in his family, he will be forced to become a monk.

When Eutropio heard of the betrothal, he told me of the ship sailing to the Amerigus and that if we survive the journey, we can settle in a new land and be married. There we can raise our children and have land for them — he even said we could become nobility with the titles of Hidalgo and wife.

I am so excited to be leaving Spain and my family, but frightened at the same time. I have never known any place except my home in Spain. I can’t even imagine what this Amerigus Land must be like. I have heard stories of golden castles with streets paved of gold, and people who wear gold and silver adornments in place of clothes. Eutropio says my wedding dress will be of pure gold and my hair will be plaited in silver when we arrive there. But before then, I must work like a boy and survive the journey on the sailing ship. I have only seen the ship from a distance, it looks so small with the sails down and setting among so many others. Eutropio says everyone has to sleep together in a very small room at the bottom of the ship, and the food we take with us has to last all the way to the New World. Sometimes there might be storms, but I must be brave and strong to survive the ship so we can start our family in this wonderful new land. I have seen ships come in with the sails billowing in the wind. They move so smoothly as birds flying through the clouds. I cannot imagine it to be so difficult to ride the waters on such a ship as the Santa Maria de Belen, having been named after the mother of Jesus Christ.

Eutropio has arranged for us both to have jobs on the ship; when we arrive in the new land, we will be paid our wages in silver and gold that we can use to buy anything we need to build our home and a farm. I understand we will even have animals on board the ship, and seeds to plant. The soil there is so rich that when seeds are planted they spring up over night and bear fruit within a few days.

My father, Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca lead an expedition in 1527 when I was just a child. He and Cabeza de Vaca and the father of Eutropio, Ponce de Leon, sailed to the eastern side of the new continent to explore a land they call Florida. He and his entire crew were captured by savages and kept as slaves for over six years. He was one of the only survivors. They escaped from the savages and wandered for two more years westward across the continent and found the place now called New Spain where many of the explorers are beginning to settle. There are towns with families living in them. He said some of the explorers were even marrying savage women and bearing children. I think these women must be princesses of the tribes that wear the golden ornaments and clothing. Perhaps when my husband is an Hidalgo, I too will be considered as royalty. Once we get there, I will be Dona Beatriz Ponce de Leon.
As I write this with the last smidge of oil burning in my lantern, I know I am looking for the last time on my home. Mama and Papa lie sleeping in the corner, and my brothers and sister are beside me on their sleeping pallets. I gave the last of my evening meal to them, because we have all been so hungry for so long, I wanted them to have something good from me to remember that I love them. I know I will miss them, but the family will have more to eat with me gone, and I will be better even dead than as a wife to Don Pedro.
I must go now. I have only the clothes I am wearing that my brother grew out of last year, and the blanket I sleep on; they are already nearly rags, but they will have to last me until I replace them with my golden wedding dress.


August 25, The year of Our Lord, 1545

We arrived yesterday and I fell on the beach and kissed the sand, so grateful was I to be released from the confinement of the ship and the constant rolling motion of that beastly prison. The rags I wore to begin with are all but gone, and what is left is stiff with the salt from the ocean spray. My hair is tangled and full of lice as is Eutropio’s. My skin is covered with flea bites, and my body smells like the sewage drains of my home town. I scrubbed with sand in the salt water on the beach just to take off the layers of filth that have built up in my hair and skin. It was a relief to be rid of some of the vermin. Some have shaven their heads to be rid of the lice, but I cannot bear to think of that, though it may be the only way to ever get rid of the tangles as well as the lice. All of us have lost any weight we had to begin with, and we look like skeletons rather than human beings. Even though my stomach has been empty for days since we ran out of weevil infested flour and mildewed fruits and the last of the meat filled with maggots, I vomit constantly and have suffered severe dysentery for the last three weeks. It took all our strength to continue the final miles of the journey after we spotted what we thought was in land. It turned out to be a mirage and it took a week more to reach the a bay. I have seen no houses of gold or people dressed in gold, but as we marched inland from the ship we found a jungle filled with fruits of indescribable shapes and colors. I would have thought that when at last I found clean food, I would gorge myself, but the smallest bites were more than I could bear to chew and swallow.

We had all been surprised and excited to see the skyline of a huge city, even before we landed. It looked to be larger than any I had seen in Spain, but the captain would not allow us to leave the ship, instead he insisted that we were too far South, and we had to sail northward along the coast for a full day before we were allowed to dock. He did, however allow a landing party to go ashore and gather fruit and fresh water. He told us that in 1517 Captain Francisco Hernandez de Cordoba had landed in that place and the entire crew had been massacred by savages. I wondered if those had been the same ones who my father had found on his expedition.

For the last day on the ship we had noticed the nearly fluorescent turquoise color of the sea, and hours before we reached dock we could see the line of jungle trees for miles along the beach. Fresh water from springs is abundant here, and I am just now beginning to be able to drink more than a single swallow at a time.

The native people look as ragged as we and have made us welcome in their jungle homes for the night. Though ragged, they cover themselves with brightly colored woven blankets and capes. Even the babies are wrapped in beautifully woven cloths.


The homes of these simple natives are in the crevices and openings of rocks built into great pyramids and castles that belonged to another world. The jungle has all but taken over the towering structures, but it is clear that we are now living in a land once inhabited by a great and skilled civilization. As I was able to walk about the city more today in the light of day, I saw evidence of palaces, irrigation ditches, statues and letters carved into stone walls. I found a small stone doll which I picked up and hid in the shreds of my blanket. Then I sat on a stone wall and wept. I wept for a lost civilization that had once lived and played here, that had once watched their children grow up. I wept from fatigue and fear and hunger; and I wept in relief that the journey was finally over, and with joy, anticipating our new life here.

Over half of the crew died on the voyage, and few are willing to make the return trip. I didn’t think it would be so easy to pass as a boy for four months with the skimpiness of the clothing left clinging to my body. Perhaps because near starvation and constant manual labor reduced me to a sack of bones, I could not even count the passage of months in a womanly manner because all functions stopped after the first week on the ship.


Eutropio will confess to the captain tomorrow that I am a girl, and request that the captain perform the marriage ceremony in the absence of a priest. I can’t see how he could even still want to marry me the way I look now, but he says my courage and inner strength made me even more beautiful to him. He has been so kind and if he had not been there with me every step of the way I think I should have surely died the first week. Everyone who has made the trip before assures us that we will be able to eat and drink normally again with in a few days. I look forward to enjoying the tastes of the marvelous looking fruits that grow on every tree and vine in sight. I wish my family could be here to share the wealth of food.


I truly thought I would not live to write this page, but now that Our Lord Jesus has seen fit to allow me and Eutropio to survive this dangerous journey, we will be married and begin a family in this new world, where never again will we or our children fear hunger. This will be a land where our children’s children and their children will live and prosper. Truly we, like Abraham and Sara will be the parents of nations.

April 17 the year of our Lord 1545


My name is Beatri Nunez Cabeza de Vaca and I must write this in haste before I board the ship tonight. It stands waiting in the harbor. I am to meet Eutropio Ponce de Leon near the dock at midnight and dress as a boy. Together we will work our way on the exploration ship Santa Maria de Belen. No one must discover I am a girl, or I will be returned to my father who has betrothed me to his cousin Don Pedro Fernandez Cabeza de Vaca. His first wife, Violenta de Tebes died last year, leaving him with several children, and he only wants to take a new wife to have a housekeeper and child tender. Eutropio and I planned to be married, but he has not earned enough money to pay a dowrey, and as third son in his family, he will be forced to become a monk.

When Eutropio heard of the betrothal, he told me of the ship sailing to the Amerigus and that if we survive the journey, we can settle in a new land and be married. There we can raise our children and have land for them — he even said we could become nobility with the titles of Hidalgo and wife.

I am so excited to be leaving Spain and my family, but frightened at the same time. I have never known any place except my home in Spain. I can’t even imagine what this Amerigus Land must be like. I have heard stories of golden castles with streets paved of gold, and people who wear gold and silver adornments in place of clothes. Eutropio says my wedding dress will be of pure gold and my hair will be plaited in silver when we arrive there. But before then, I must work like a boy and survive the journey on the sailing ship. I have only seen the ship from a distance, it looks so small with the sails down and setting among so many others. Eutropio says everyone has to sleep together in a very small room at the bottom of the ship, and the food we take with us has to last all the way to the New World. Sometimes there might be storms, but I must be brave and strong to survive the ship so we can start our family in this wonderful new land. I have seen ships come in with the sails billowing in the wind. They move so smoothly as birds flying through the clouds. I cannot imagine it to be so difficult to ride the waters on such a ship as the Santa Maria de Belen, having been named after the mother of Jesus Christ.

Eutropio has arranged for us both to have jobs on the ship; when we arrive in the new land, we will be paid our wages in silver and gold that we can use to buy anything we need to build our home and a farm. I understand we will even have animals on board the ship, and seeds to plant. The soil there is so rich that when seeds are planted they spring up over night and bear fruit within a few days.

My father, Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca lead an expedition in 1527 when I was just a child. He and Cabeza de Vaca and the father of Eutropio, Ponce de Leon, sailed to the eastern side of the new continent to explore a land they call Florida. He and his entire crew were captured by savages and kept as slaves for over six years. He was one of the only survivors. They escaped from the savages and wandered for two more years westward across the continent and found the place now called New Spain where many of the explorers are beginning to settle. There are towns with families living in them. He said some of the explorers were even marrying savage women and bearing children. I think these women must be princesses of the tribes that wear the golden ornaments and clothing. Perhaps when my husband is an Hidalgo, I too will be considered as royalty. Once we get there, I will be Dona Beatriz Ponce de Leon.
As I write this with the last smidge of oil burning in my lantern, I know I am looking for the last time on my home. Mama and Papa lie sleeping in the corner, and my brothers and sister are beside me on their sleeping pallets. I gave the last of my evening meal to them, because we have all been so hungry for so long, I wanted them to have something good from me to remember that I love them. I know I will miss them, but the family will have more to eat with me gone, and I will be better even dead than as a wife to Don Pedro.
I must go now. I have only the clothes I am wearing that my brother grew out of last year, and the blanket I sleep on; they are already nearly rags, but they will have to last me until I replace them with my golden wedding dress.




August 25, The year of Our Lord, 1545

We arrived yesterday and I fell on the beach and kissed the sand, so grateful was I to be released from the confinement of the ship and the constant rolling motion of that beastly prison. The rags I wore to begin with are all but gone, and what is left is stiff with the salt from the ocean spray. My hair is tangled and full of lice as is Eutropio’s. My skin is covered with flea bites, and my body smells like the sewage drains of my home town. I scrubbed with sand in the salt water on the beach just to take off the layers of filth that have built up in my hair and skin. It was a relief to be rid of some of the vermin. Some have shaven their heads to be rid of the lice, but I cannot bear to think of that, though it may be the only way to ever get rid of the tangles as well as the lice. All of us have lost any weight we had to begin with, and we look like skeletons rather than human beings. Even though my stomach has been empty for days since we ran out of weevil infested flour and mildewed fruits and the last of the meat filled with maggots, I vomit constantly and have suffered severe dysentery for the last three weeks. It took all our strength to continue the final miles of the journey after we spotted what we thought was in land. It turned out to be a mirage and it took a week more to reach the a bay. I have seen no houses of gold or people dressed in gold, but as we marched inland from the ship we found a jungle filled with fruits of indescribable shapes and colors. I would have thought that when at last I found clean food, I would gorge myself, but the smallest bites were more than I could bear to chew and swallow.

We had all been surprised and excited to see the skyline of a huge city, even before we landed. It looked to be larger than any I had seen in Spain, but the captain would not allow us to leave the ship, instead he insisted that we were too far South, and we had to sail northward along the coast for a full day before we were allowed to dock. He did, however allow a landing party to go ashore and gather fruit and fresh water. He told us that in 1517 Captain Francisco Hernandez de Cordoba had landed in that place and the entire crew had been massacred by savages. I wondered if those had been the same ones who my father had found on his expedition.







For the last day on the ship we had noticed the nearly fluorescent turquoise color of the sea, and hours before we reached dock we could see the line of jungle trees for miles along the beach. Fresh water from springs is abundant here, and I am just now beginning to be able to drink more than a single swallow at a time.

The native people look as ragged as we and have made us welcome in their jungle homes for the night. Though ragged, they cover themselves with brightly colored woven blankets and capes. Even the babies are wrapped in beautifully woven cloths.


The homes of these simple natives are in the crevices and openings of rocks built into great pyramids and castles that belonged to another world. The jungle has all but taken over the towering structures, but it is clear that we are now living in a land once inhabited by a great and skilled civilization. As I was able to walk about the city more today in the light of day, I saw evidence of palaces, irrigation ditches, statues and letters carved into stone walls. I found a small stone doll which I picked up and hid in the shreds of my blanket. Then I sat on a stone wall and wept. I wept for a lost civilization that had once lived and played here, that had once watched their children grow up. I wept from fatigue and fear and hunger; and I wept in relief that the journey was finally over, and with joy, anticipating our new life here.

Over half of the crew died on the voyage, and few are willing to make the return trip. I didn’t think it would be so easy to pass as a boy for four months with the skimpiness of the clothing left clinging to my body. Perhaps because near starvation and constant manual labor reduced me to a sack of bones, I could not even count the passage of months in a womanly manner because all functions stopped after the first week on the ship.


Eutropio will confess to the captain tomorrow that I am a girl, and request that the captain perform the marriage ceremony in the absence of a priest. I can’t see how he could even still want to marry me the way I look now, but he says my courage and inner strength made me even more beautiful to him. He has been so kind and if he had not been there with me every step of the way I think I should have surely died the first week. Everyone who has made the trip before assures us that we will be able to eat and drink normally again with in a few days. I look forward to enjoying the tastes of the marvelous looking fruits that grow on every tree and vine in sight. I wish my family could be here to share the wealth of food.


I truly thought I would not live to write this page, but now that Our Lord Jesus has seen fit to allow me and Eutropio to survive this dangerous journey, we will be married and begin a family in this new world, where never again will we or our children fear hunger. This will be a land where our children’s children and their children will live and prosper. Truly we, like Abraham and Sara will be the parents of nations.